“Older and Far Away"

 

Episode 14  of Season 6

 

“So you ever think about not celebrating your birthday? Just to try it, I mean?”

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Original US airdate: February 12th, 2002

Rewatched: June 29th, 2023

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• Writer: Drew Z. Greenberg

• Director: Michael Gershman

• Guests: Kali Rocha, Ryan Browning, Amber Benson

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It’s the fifth and final Buffy birthday episode of the series, and like every single other birthday episode, it’s not a great one. Buffy does try to party like it’s 1999. The gang comes over. Xander and Anya bring a guy they hope Buffy hits it off with, but she’s a bit too entwined with Spike to really want to start something new. Although she is able to keep from sleeping with Spike, despite his many attempts to get her to. Luckily, Tara is there is help Buffy with Spike. Buffy invites a friend from work, Sophie, who seems nice, if not a little immature. And Spike brings Clem, who Buffy met at kitten poker. It’s also the first time Tara and Willow have really hung out since the breakup, although they did run into each other during the last episode. It’s a nice party and everyone has so much fun they don’t leave. When the sleep over ends the next morning, they realize they can’t leave. The situation is made more tense when a spell Tara casts to get them out of the house accidently unleashes a demon who had been trapped in a sword. Stuck in a house with a demon, things are not looking good.

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Feeling very alone, Dawn has made the mistake of making a wish to her guidance counselor, who turned out to be Anya’s vengeance demon friend Halfrek. Dawn wished that people would stop leaving, and now no one can leave. While Dawn is a bit of a brat in this episode, I can’t help but have sympathy for her. Her losses have been many (her father, her mother, Giles, Riley, Tara) and her sister is too busy with work, slaying and secretly having sex with Spike to do much with her (and also nearly left her in the last episode… and was dead for a while). When no one has time to help Dawn shop for Buffy’s present, you can see how sad she is. When Buffy confronts her, she explains her feelings of loneliness to her.

Dawn: “It’s not like I meant for this to happen.”

Buffy: “I never said that you did.”

Dawn: “I didn’t want this.”

Buffy: “What did you want?”

Dawn: “Nothing.”

Buffy: “Dawn, come on.”

Dawn: “No. You don’t know. You have this thing you do, you have all these friends. You have no idea what it’s like.”

Buffy: “What are you talking about? I don’t know what… what…”

Dawn: “Being alone.”

Buffy: “You’re not alone.”

Dawn: “Then why do I feel like this?”

In the course of trying to find out what happened, the Scoobies find out Dawn has been shoplifting. Once the gang is free to leave the house, Buffy decides to stay with Dawn. She’s realized that Dawn is not okay and needs her sister.

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Despite the focus being on how Dawn is not coping with her life, several other important things happen. First, when the need arises, Willow admits she kept some spell ingredients just in case. While this allows Tara to try to cast a spell, it loses her some trust. However, when Anya (and Xander) push Willow to use her magic, Tara is able to step up and defend her, telling them to back off and leave Willow alone. Then, Halfrek, who we met two episodes ago, is seen again. She at first refuses to break her spell, despite it dooming her friend Anya. But when she realizes she is trapped, too, she lifts it. Two interesting points. The demon trapped in the house stabs Halfrek, who survives it, a detail that will be important next season. Also, Halfrek is played by the same actress who played Cecily. In this episode, she and Spike recognize each other and she calls him William, indicating Halfrek is Cecily. Considering Cecily likes to curse bad parents more than bad boyfriends, this may indicate Halfrek’s rejection of Spike may have had more complex motives than Spike was willing to admit to. Perhaps her own bad homelife led Halfrek to choose a different path than marriage.

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While season 6 focuses a lot on how hard it is to be an adult, this episode is a nice reminder that the high school years are not much easier.

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“As You Were"

 

Episode 15  of Season 6

 

“The wheel never stops turning, Buffy. You’re up, you’re down. It doesn’t change what you are.”

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Original US airdate: February 26th, 2002

Rewatched: July 6th, 2023

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• Writer: Douglas Petrie

• Director: Douglas Petrie

• Guests: Marc Blucas, Ivana Milicevic

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Buffy is still, to a large extent, going through the motions. Stuck in a job she doesn’t like, feeling like she didn’t live up to her potential because she dropped out of college (and finds out in this episode that she missed the deadline for readmission), she is still turning to Spike to make her feel something. Riley’s return to Sunnydale briefly makes her feel like her old self.

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Riley is tracking a nasty demon and needs Buffy’s help. It seems like Buffy might have a chance to tell Riley how she really feels and that she didn’t let him go last year, until his wife shows up, too. Buffy helps them track the demon they are looking for, and then find the eggs that are going to be sold on the black market. Riley finds out Buffy is sleeping with Spike. Buffy finds out Spike was going to sell the eggs on the black market. Spike’s underground portion of his crypt gets blown up. Buffy is confronted with who she was and who she has become in this episode, but words from Riley (and from his wife Sam, who calls her legendary) help set her back on track.

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Riley underlines that Buffy isn’t worse because she works fast food or has made poor decisions in her love life. “None of that means anything. It doesn’t touch you. You’re still the fist woman I ever loved and the strongest woman I’ve ever known.” Buffy is and always will be the Slayer.

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Meeting Riley does prompt her to break up with Spike. Buffy is also, for the first time, able to be honest with herself and Spike, underlining that being with him makes everything easy, but she’s using him and will never love him. “And it’s killing me. I have to be strong about this. I’m sorry, William.” That Spike is still willing to be with Buffy even after she admits she’s using him perhaps underscores his masochism yet again (he’s willing to be used), but for Buffy this scene is important. She is treating him like a man again, not a monster. She’s approached him as her equal and has ended it. The scene ends with Buffy walking into the light with a half-smile, showing that this is the right decision.  

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Riley leaves town with Sam. And Buffy is more ready than before to face her life as it is. But there are two other things worth mentioning. First, Willow is again asked to use magic, this time by Riley and Sam. She explains she can’t, despite their pushing, and Sam later tells her how strong she is to have quit, and that she knew two Shaman who didn’t quit and were consumed by the magic. Willow is holding on to not doing magic. Xander and Anya are one week out from the wedding and stress eating. The wedding is stressful and they are not happy campers, but they are able to figure out in this episode that their wedding is not their marriage. They seem happy that their wedding will last forever in this scene… but they still have not talked through their issues. It may be that love is not enough.

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“Hell's Bells"

 

Episode 16  of Season 6

 

“I know it wasn’t real, but it could be.”

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Original US airdate: March 5th, 2002

Rewatched: July 14th, 2023

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• Writer: Rebecca Rand Kirshner

• Director: David Solomon

• Guests: Casey Sander, Kali Rocha, Andy Umberger, Lee Garlington, Jan Hoag, George D. Wallace, Amber Benson, Steve Gilbron

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It’s the day of Xander and Anya’s wedding and all is not well in Sunnydale. The weather’s rainy. The bridesmaid’s dresses are not great. The guests aren’t getting along. We finally meet Xander’s family (Uncle Rory and his parents) and they are not great people. In fact, Uncle Rory is making all the women uncomfortable and Mr. Harris is drunk and more drunk.

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Into all this comes a man who claims to be Xander from the future. While Anya is practicing her vows and getting dressed, he shows Xander their future and it’s not pretty. Their second child is not Xander’s (and most likely Clem’s), Xander is out of work and bitter (shot his back helping Buffy, who seems to be dead), he drinks, they fight and it just gets worse.

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Anya, in the meantime, is practicing her vows. She’s not quite got the full knack of it (Willow and Tara request she not include her being a sex poodle), but they’re definitely romantic. She feels that love has made her whole and that thanks to Xander, she finally understands love. Anya is ready for her perfect wedding day.

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It turns out the man wasn’t Xander from the future, but a man Anya once cursed, hell bent on ruining her life. Unfortunately, it’s too late. Anya thought Xander helped her understand love, but she missed that communication was the key to love. Xander didn’t communicate with Anya, either. All their doubts, thoroughly sung about in the musical episode, have not been addressed. In the last episode, they realized the wedding was not the marriage, which was healthy, but they never did discuss what marriage meant for them. Nor their fears about it.

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So they finally talk, but it’s too late:

Xander: I know it wasn’t real, but it could be.

Anya: Well, what was it? Was it about me? Cause he wanted you to hate me.

Xander: It wasn’t you. It wasn’t you I was hating. I had these thoughts and fears before this. Maybe we just went too fast.

Anya: Look, everybody has thoughts. It’s natural. It doesn’t mean that getting married is wrong.

Xander: I know. I know.

Anya: Look, you’re just shaken up, ok? You just calm down and we’ll start over, ok?

[Xander see his parents fighting]

Xander: We can’t start over. If this is a mistake, it’s forever. And I don’t wanna hurt you. Not that way. I’m sorry.

 

And Xander leaves Anya at the altar. The Scoobies are torn about what to do. They love Xander, but don’t love what he’s done. They want to support Anya but also give her space. In that space, Anya and D’Hoffryn talk. He tells Anya that “you let him domesticate you. When you were a vengeance demon, you were powerful. At the top of you game, you could crush men like him. It’s time you got back to what you do best, don’t you think?” And Anya, showing the judgement of an imperfect human and ex-vengeance demon who has been deeply hurt, takes him up on his offer. Anya is no longer human.

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“Normal Again"

 

Episode 17  of Season 6

 

“You think this isn’t real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy?”

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Original US airdate: March 12th, 2002

Rewatched: July 20th, 2023

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• Writer: Diego Gutierrez

• Director: Rick Rosenthal

• Guests: Danny Strong, Adam Busch, Tom Lenk, Dean Butler, Michael Warren, Kirsten Nelson, Amber Benson, Kristine Sutherland

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After the events in last episode, both Anya and Xander are MIA until Xander reappears at the start of this episode. It turns out Xander didn’t want to break up with Anya, in fact he’s hoping to talk to her now that he’s back, but he just wasn’t ready to get married. Willow and Buffy are skeptical that Xander will be able to work things out. Viewers, knowing what Anya decided last episode, are even more skeptical. Xander didn’t talk when he could have saved his relationship and now it’s too late.

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Buffy is working on tracking down the Trio and manages to find them… or rather she would have it they hadn’t sent a demon to distract her. The demon stabs Buffy and she starts having flashes of being in a mental health ward. These continue at odd times, becoming steadily more frequent and longer, and Buffy gets the gang to research what’s going on. The gang manage to capture the demon and make an antidote, but it goes south. Buffy locks everyone in the basement with the demon and releases it. She’s ready to watch them die.

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In the mental health ward, the doctor explains that Buffy has been catatonic from schizophrenia for six years. Sunnydale, her friends, her sister are all part of her delusions. She’s still in LA, her parents are still together and still alive. Her death at the end of season 5 (and her time in heaven) were a brief period of lucidity, but her friends managed to pull her back in. But as the doctor says, her delusion is not as comforting as it once was. Her life is no longer under control. Her villains no longer fantastical. Buffy could wake up again and have her childhood back. She just needs to let Sunnydale go.

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Although it seems silly Buffy might believe this is true (I mean, Sunnydale is so realistic!), she confesses to Willow that she was in treatment before. When she saw her first vampires, she told her mother and was sent to be treated. Buffy entertains the possibility that she never left. Dawn, however, is a bit hurt by Buffy’s delusions. In the reality Buffy is retreating into, Dawn doesn’t exist. It’s another blow for a hurting child. Finally, it is Spike who seems to cement Buffy in her decision to fully embrace the delusion. He urges her to join him and leave behind the life she hates, to tell her friends about them before he does, and to finally accept who she is. Buffy decides on escape. And in order to escape, she needs to kill her friends.

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However, with her friends tied up as demon food in her basement and Buffy fully embracing her new delusion, it’s her mother who convinces her to go back to Sunnydale:

I believe in you. You’re a survivor. You can do this … Be strong, baby, okay. I know you’re afraid. I know the world feels like a hard place sometimes, but you’ve got people who love you. Your dad and I, we have all the faith in the world in you. We’ll always be with you. You’ve got a world of strength in your heart, I know you do. You just have to find it again. Believe in yourself.

And Buffy does. She goes back to Sunnydale, saves her friends and drinks the antidote. The episode is a metaphor for Buffy feeling lost. In the end, however, her mother is right. She’s strong enough to embrace her reality, no matter how hard it is.

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After this episode aired, some fans speculated that the mental ward was in fact real, and that the series might end with revealing this as reality. The fact that the last scene of this episode was in the mental ward, with Buffy retreating into her Sunnydale delusion and her parents watching her go, did seem to indicate this. However, an interesting feature of the mental ward scenes is that, except in the final scene where her mother told her to be strong, her parents never touched her. This would seem to show that they weren’t real, unlike her Sunnydale reality where people did touch each other. So, while it’s perhaps not the best decision to end the episode a little wishy washy, I think it’s clear that Buffy’s reality is Sunnydale. If it wasn’t, it would have ruined the whole central metaphor of the series, which is the journey of a strong female hero into adulthood.

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